Detox To Retox
hi. i'm gabe.
i'm like a crunchy taco...
or maybe a 7 layer.
this is my "fun" blog of random stuff.
if you want some real talk, call R Kelly, or go to
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NO, I DO NOT HAVE FACEBOOK!!
You guys totally spelled my name wrong! Thanks for making the sign though :) maybe tomorrow you’ll get it right!
Demasiado alto para el subte. Ryland to me: “are you asking for ‘awful whores?!’ ” Me: “naw dude, ALFAJORES.” Tastier
Midnight snack. My favorite thing about argentina (like in uruguay too) is that fruit salad is more like a soup in OJ! Pueden creer que en EEUU la ensalada de fruita es seca? Barbaros!
look at this funny thing i never knew i had
dude, you look like john travolta. please get someone without rape eyes to make wikipedia appeals. k, jimbo?
super-surreal to see a bunch of Victoria Secret models dancing to “Call Me” while sitting next to Debbie Harry. I tried not to be too obvious when i was filming, but she’s in the bottom left corner (when i turn the camera to the left). i’m a huge Blondie fan, so i mustered up the nerve to ask her for a photo. she obliged but looked at me like i had two heads. way awkward. i deleted the pic.
How To Tour in a Band
How to Tour in a Band or Whatever
by Thor Harris1-Don’t Complain. Bitching, moaning, whining is tour cancer. If something is wrong fix it or shut the fuck up you fucking dick. goddamn.
2-If you fart, claim it.
3-Don’t Lose shit. Everybody loses shit. Don’t fucking do it. Asshole.
4-Don’t fuck anyone in the band. There are tons of people to fuck who are not in this band. Dumbass.
5-If you feel like shit all the time, drink less beer at the gig. You will play better & feel better. What are you… a child? Some have the endurance for self abuse. Most don’t.
6-Remember the soundman’s name. He will do a better job.
7- Eat oranges. Cures constipation & prevents colds.
8-Masturbate. Duh… Where & when? Be creative. You’re an artist right?
9-If YOU can’t carry your suitcase 3 blocks, it’s too goddamn big.
10-Respect public space in the van. Don’t clutter, you Fuck.
11-If you borrow something, return it. Not Fucked Up.
12-Do not let the promoter dick you or talk you out of the guarantee. If there were not enuf people there, it’s their fault.
13- Driver picks the music.
14-One navigator only (usually sitting shotgun). Everyone else shut the fuck up.
15-Soundcheck is for checking sounds. Shut the fuck up while everyone else is checking.
16-Don’t wander off. Let someone know where you are.
17-Clean up after yourself. What are you… a goddamn toddler?
18-Touring makes everyone bi-polar. Ride the waves as best you can and remember, moods pass. So don’t make any snap decisions or declarations when you are drunk or insane.
19-Fast food is Poison.
20-The guestlist is for friends, family & people you might want to fuck. Everyone else can pay. They have day jobs.
21- Don’t evaluate your whole life while you’re sitting in a janitor closet waiting to go on. You think you’re above having shitty days at work? Shut up & do your goddamn job.
This list was written under the influence of lots of esspresso & anti-depressants while on tour w/ such greats as Shearwater, Swans, Smog, Lisa Germano, Angels of Light, Bill Callahan & many more. I hope this list will help you get along w/ your co-workers whatever your job is. Contributions to the list by Jordan Geiger, Kimberly Burke, Brian Orloff, Brian Phillips Celebrity Gang Bang, Kevin Schneider, Jonathan Meiburg, Michael Gira and some other folks.
Thanks for not being an asshole, Thor Harris
me & @jitg on Halloween. photos by @aliya210. Yes, we are dancing with DOUBLE RAINBOW!
Guess what we were dressed as:
a) sperm
b) members of a cult
c) lines of cocaine
d) none of the above; we wore white to ward off the demonic spirits running loose on haloween
e) none of the above; we think we’re too cool for halloween
